Key points
- Depending on the study, one-third to two-thirds of women say they’ve faked an orgasm at least once.
- Many popular sex positions don’t provide much stimulation for women’s orgasm trigger: the clitoris.
- Three intercourse positions allow men to provide direct clitoral massage quite easily.
“Did you come?” This question looms over a good deal of lovemaking, especially among lovers under 30. Fortunately, gentlemen, it’s usually not difficult to recognize women’s orgasms. And it’s fairly easy to help most women get there. All men need to do is let go of the idea that intercourse is all it takes.
What Proportion of Women Fake Orgasm?
- University of Kansas researchers surveyed 101 women college students. Those admitting faking-67 percent.
- Finnish scientists surveyed 1,421 adult Finnish women. Those who’d pretended at least once-34 percent.
- To boost partners’ egos and avoid hurting their feelings.
- To avoid shaming and accusations of inadequacy.
- To end the sex.
- And for nonsexual gains-recognition as the man’s official girlfriend, to cement the relationship, or to elicit marriage proposals.
Faking is age-related. As age increases, more women become better able to ask for the clitoral caresses that trigger an orgasm, and most men gain insights into the sexual moves that help women climax.
I’d be interested to hear from women about faking it. Have you ever? Why? How did it affect the relationship? And has the relationship endured?
How Men Can Tell
Gentlemen, given the frequency of faking, if you feel the need to ask, chances are she didn’t come. Especially if you make love drunk, rush into intercourse, or don’t provide gentle, extended hand massage of her clitoris and cunnilingus every time.
Most orgasms are actually pretty hard to miss. Women’s resemble men’s. Think about your own and you’ll be better able to identify women’s brazilcupid. The vast majority begin with the quickening of breathing often accompanied by gasps or moans followed by several seconds of rapid, involuntary contractions of the muscles around the vulva and anus, usually with a jerky movement of the hips and often the whole body. Orgasms conclude with release into relaxation and dreamy contentment. If you help her to orgasm orally, your lips and tongue are likely to feel her vaginal muscle contractions.
If you want to see women have orgasms, ignore the vast majority of porn. The women moan, groan, and thrash, seeming to climax, but they don’t. I’ve interviewed several female porn actors. All were orgasmic at home during personal lovemaking with their real partners. But none ever came on camera. Not one.
Why? Largely because porn depicts male fantasies of women endlessly servicing men with fellatio and intercourse. Porn contains very little of what actually helps women climax-leisurely, playful, extended kissing, cuddling, and whole-body massage, gentle hand jobs, and lots of gentle cunnilingus. The women actors didn’t get that on the set but did at home.
However, one little corner of the amateur porno-sphere can be instructive. You can watch hundreds of real women have real orgasms using their hands or vibrators by visiting sample-aggregation sites (like PornHub). Among the myriad categories, select Orgasm Compilations.
How to Boost Women’s Likelihood of Orgasm During Intercourse
Only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse. The old in-out doesn’t provide much stimulation for women’s orgasm trigger, the clitoris, which sits an inch or two above the vaginal opening under the top junction of the vaginal lips.
But many couples would like women to come during intercourse. Three intercourse positions allow men to provide direct clitoral massage quite easily. In addition, a slight variation on the man-on-top (missionary) position may also help.
