Most people struggling with these transgendered issues if they are reasonable and of sound mind could make that sacrifice
There is nothing worse than having someone sell you the fairytale then say “oops so sorry to have misled you”. You think you have found the love of your life and it is all lies. He also abandoned my 4 year old grandson who had his mom and dad abandon him only to fall for and think this person was his “real dad”. He would not even put on a pair of jeans, tennis shoes and t-shirt and “pretend” for a 4 year old because what he needed was more important than what the child needed. If they took my grandson away and told me I had to dress up as a clown and call myself Sue I would for the sake of the child.
I know, been there, done that
My grandson still refers to her as “my dad” even though there has not been one card, birthday gift or christmas present. My grandson suffers from attachment disorder because of all these selfish people who choose their demons rather than him. I have chosen to accept that I can’t ever trust again enough to put myself out there for the possibility of love. At this point in my life the person who deserves my time and attention is now 7 years old. I don’t think I will risk getting involved again just because I don’t want him to get hurt again, he is only a kid.
But that is me. Hope this helps a little, I found that there really is no support for us exes of transgendered individuals because as they say “we can’t open our minds and accept them for who they are. It is like having a missing person that is never found again, always wondering what could have been, and why. Unfortunately, they can’t tell us why either.
Thank you for your post! I agree that there is no help for the spouses of the TG. I have been looking for solutions and try to think rational about what do I need to do. I wish we could talk, and form a support not only for TG but the ones suffering after their actions.
Maddy, I hope you and your baby are happy and coping. My husband and I are coming up to our 23rd anniversary this year. I had no clue at all he was m/f inclined until several years after we check these guys out were married, when I caught him wearing my underwear. A few times he tried to tell me, but was so oblique, saying things like he wasn’t happy with who he was, that I took it as general depression, and packed him off to the dr for anti depressants. He WAS depressed, but it was because of frustration. He grew up in a very traditional family, who packed him off to see a psychiatrist. Their conclusion was that if he could live on his own as a female for a year, then they would start transitioning him. He wasn’t able to leave home, so his parents just told him to cut it out. He was from overseas, and was my siblings pen friend. She invited him over here to attend her wedding, and we met. It was instant attraction. We just clicked from the start. He returned home but we kept in touch for ten years before we met again, and he proposed. I loved him dearly, and said yes. His family were delighted, but when I later found out his history, I was furious with all his family, and with him. He said he didn’t tell me before we got married in case I said No. Hearing this after 6 yrs of marriage, and he asks if I would have said no, I told him I didn’t know, as he never gave me the chance at the time. Every couple of yrs now his female side takes over. He shaves off all his body hair, and tries to walk like a woman, dress up in men’s clothes that look feminine etc. he goes to town on the housework.. What’s really bad and gets me most upset is that his personality completely changes. He doesn’t care at all about the effect it has on me. He doesn’t want a lesbian relationship, he goes off sex when he’s like that. We have two teenage daughters with Autism and Aspergers. Saying that my leaving would be OK for them is not true. My greatest fear now is that when (if) they leave, he’ll just do what he wants. It never ends though, Maddy. I’ve told him he made his choice when he asked me to marry him, and I married a man. I LOATHE transgender ism. (EDITED)
