Besides thank you for being here all this time. I appreciate having someone on the receiving end of all my dramatic emotional whatever’s.
Anyway, thank you again for sticking around. I officially retire this blog! It’s been fun. 🙂 I wish you all wonderful lives and positive perspectives. Thank you for sharing this with me.
If you’d like to contact me for any reason, even to say hi, feel welcomed to email me at It’s an old email, but I still check it. Thanks. 🙂
And With That.
I was correct to think that talking to you would get me in a writing mood. You always seem to bring out the best worst emotions in me.
Honestly, maybe this is good. The fact that our little chats always go so terribly. Maybe this feeling of “I don’t want to talk to you anymore” will stick and I’ll actually stop talking to you. Wouldn’t that be wonderful. If I could actually finally hit reality that you’re not who I thought you were and just move the fuck on?
I mean its not like you’re all I think about. You’re just all I think about when I have nothing better to think about, and my bad thoughts creep it. All the negatives. You’re part of that now, when you used to be the positive.
But lets not get stuck on this again. Who you used to be. That’s what gives me hope, what makes me talk to you again. Why can’t I just take a sledge hammer to that hope, and stop hanging on to it?
Maybe the hope of “maybe once we’re middle-aged and married we’ll re-connect and be jolly good friends” should replace “maybe once we’re both in the end of college we’ll re-connect and be awesome good friends again and he’ll totally wish he never gave me up and he’ll want to date me but I’ll say no”.
I don’t know why I sometimes want that. He’s honestly a jerk. But I’m still stuck on the fact that we used to be so close. Or so I thought.
I honestly am extremely happy with what I have. So I really want to just get rid of this negative want that I don’t want but can’t seem to stop wanting. what
But still I miss it. STOP IT KAYLA. The fun innocent early high school summers. FUUU YOU’RE DOING IT AGAIN.
Alright, YOU KNOW WHAT? I don’t want him anymore. He’s mean. I’ll just have once last little “hope all is well :)” conversation with him to leave off everything happy, and then that’s it. No more him. Done. If there’s gonna be conversations, it’ll be him starting it and me finishing it.
There’s no more hope for us but waaaaaay into the future, maybe we’ll say hello again, and you’ll be nice again. But that’s it. Just hello, and nothing more behind it.
Because of.
It’s not something that makes sense. It’s not something that ever did. But I also suppose, it’s not something that has to.
You we awkward. I liked that about you. I don’t know why I did, but I did. You were intriguing, with your unique music sense and poetry writing. Being extremely intelligent, you had skipped a grade. But in all reality, you were only one year older than me. I only really hung around people older than me, so it made sense there. When we were first texting, I remember a time during the summer where portal link I was bored. I kind of hinted at hanging out with you, and you awkwardly mentioned you didn’t know me well enough to come over. I hadn’t hinted at it for you to come over. Only to show you that I enjoyed your presence. I don’t really remember how we did start to hangout outside the group.
