I love he so much, and my future fantasies take the best of me, until she makes me feel useless in the most loving way possible
You will never take priority over drugs.As the saying goes “drugs are his mistress.” Stand proud you are not competing with another woman. Also remember,NEVER accept gifts that are not secured – mortgage paid, not installment payments on anything. There’s still that price tag. This act of acceptance should be what you should be kicking yourself for. Hopefully, it’s the first and last time you’ll do this.Make it a mantra: Be proud of yourself and never do anything to invite disrespect from your family & close friends. Truth is, you’ll be hard pressed to retrieve it.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. Its been 48 hours since I broke up with her. Its hurts so bad, Ive cried 
so much. I know she is not a bad person, but her need for love and attention is imposible to fulfill, and when she get mad says the most horrible things, I always blame myself for not making her happy, and it makes me feel so selfish and useless. I finally reacted 48 hours ago, but it is so hard, it hurts so much! I know its the best for us, we bring out the worst in each other, but i feel I so lost and sad, so tired and exauhsted. This article helped me allot, Ill have to read it every day until i feel better. Il stop writing because I need to read all this again. Thank You
He took me to the airport and said he loved me
Im alone, but not lonely! I got back together and broke up a month later. Never looked back and cried allot, then started working on me, loving me. ? ive been single for some months now and happy with myself, happier than I have been in years! Ive learned so much about myself. Its the hardest thing Ive been through, but it was worth it. I believe its not the person, its what the person representa that haunts you, that tortures you and that is what you cant let go. You let go of what you think is love and actually start feeling it, love for yourself. Thats the start to actually find love.
Andres your story is very similar to mine. Almost every sentence resonates with me and my situation. I’ve been without her for over 3 weeks now (i broke up with her bc of her verbal abuse and lack of real effort in the relationship). My question is: how did you get the courage to move on and focus on yourself? In my research I’ve realized that I lack self-love and that is something you started focusing on to get better. Any help would greatly be appreciated. Thank you!
Dear CK & Andres, Both of you are writing words that reach my heart. I agree wholeheartedly that it is not the person but what dreams and hopes that the person represents for us. I too, broke up a few weeks ago because I was no longer capable of handling the violent outbursts that seemed to come unprovoked and were far more extreme than the preceding conversation. CK, I went into our spare room. I closed, not slammed, the door. I deleted all of our photographs from the last four years, I deleted all 6000 emails my sentimental heart had saved. Still, I did not cry, yell, or pick a fight or act out in any way. I just started preparing for a life without his presence. I began constructing my own safety net wherein he was not part of it. Later that night, he wanted me to come to bed with him. He wanted to have sex in a tender way. And yet, he would not address how he screamed at me. He pretended that it never happened, I simply could not bring myself to be with him physically even though I love him very much. I had committed to starting a life free of “reset buttons” and lack of accountability and recognition. I packed up the next day with zero drama or fanfare. That was two weeks ago. He has since, sent one email saying I want to talk to you. It’s important, and one wishing me Happy Holidays using our nicknames for each other. Within these two numb weeks, that is all I have heard from him. It is hard and grievous because he was who I truly thought would be my life’s partner. We were planning to cycle through Vietnam in a few weeks and live a quiet life of reasonable happiness sprinkled with splashes of exploration. But the unpredictable and inexplicable explosions of anger were metaphorical landmines that I could not live with. We all deserve to be able to love safely, generously and without punishment. Please feel free to respond because I feel you both understand the confusion of grief in accepting that our dreams of a life with the ones we wanted to love.
