“Olivia’s theory was that you could divide women into two types: those who were on the Girls’ Team, and Undercover Bitches. Women on the Girls’ Team had solidarity. They were conspiratorial and brought all their fuck-ups to the table for everyone to enjoy. Undercover Bitches were competitive: they showed off, tried to put others down to make themselves look good, lacked humour and a sense of their own ridiculousness, said things which sounded okay on the surface but were actually designed to make you feel really bad, couldn’t bear it when they weren’t getting enough attention, and they flicked their hair. Men didn’t get all this. They thought women took against each other because they were jealous. Quite tragic, really.” — Helen Fielding, Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination
“Yes, sad, clingy, little Jimmy may have an obvious crush on me; and yes he agrees with everything I say. People are wrong: The size of a man’s penis is unimportant. What matters is how big his balls are.” — Steven Leeson, (Commenting on Nice Guys)
There’s a subject for an essay right there
“She was not, herself, hugely in favour of motherhood in general. Obviously it was necessary, but it wasn’t exactly difficult. Even cats managed it. But women acted as if they’d been given a medal that entitled them to boss people around. It was as if, just because they’d got the label which said “mother,” everyone else got a tiny part of the label that said “child”. ” — Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum
“The thing that gets me is, they say “judgmental” like that’s a BAD thing. That is what feminine socialization wants you to believe! Life without judgment is worthless. Recipe for wasted time: don’t be “judgmental.” Just let life wash over you. ” — Fabulana (on the subject of men who accuse discerning women of “being judgmental”)
If a woman was on the Girls’ Team, she could be as beautiful, intelligent, rich, famous, sexy, successful and as popular as fuck, and you’d still like her
“It is pathetic to see how feminine socialization is a crutch for so many people to remain lazy, morally irresponsible, etc.” — Fabulana
“Parroting your spouse and agreeing with everything he/she says is no substitute for, nor is it the same as having a spine of your own. And remember, spines DO bend and move. sugardaddy mi They aren’t rigid. Don’t confuse having an iron rod stuck up your ass with having a spine. — Liana Trement
“Haven’t you got any romance in your soul?” said Magrat plaintively. “No,” said Granny. “I ain’t. And stars don’t care what you wish, and magic don’t make things better, and no one doesn’t get burned who sticks their hand in a fire. If you want to amount to anything as a witch, Magrat Garlick, you got to learn three things. What’s real, what’s not real, and what’s the difference.” — Terry Pratchett, “Witches Abroad”
“You applied. You’re here under the assumption that you have half a brain and opposable thumbs. Step up to the plate and fucking prove there’s more to you than that and quit whining or get used to having a thin coat of barbeque sauce on your ass.” — The No Queen (explaining the facts of life to a BitchBoard newbie)
“I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. — Tracy Smith
“Told her that the only way to get on at EMF is to act like one of the boys, and when you act like one of the boys they call you abrasive and difficult, so you act like a woman and they say you’re emotional and difficult. Difficult being their word for everything that’s not them.” — Kate Reddy from “I Don’t Know How She Does It by Allison Pearson
